I need to emphasize this because its impact on your life cannot be overstated. The one thing that is always within your control is your thoughts. Thoughts are powerful tools. They shape our experience. They give meaning to events and help us solve mysteries. Our thought patterns often reflect the society, culture and mindset of those who reared us. Thoughts can liberate us, solve unique problems or confine us to the depths of depression.
By using our thoughts consciously and being aware of the outcomes of those thoughts, we can shift those patterns in a way that will serve us rather than bring limitations. Every time we judge another person, we cut ourselves off from the ability to express ourselves. We limit our potential in not only the situation we are condemning but with it a wide range of similar situations that could bring us similar judgments.
Similarly, every time we place someone on a pedestal, we cut ourselves off from the ability to accomplish something similar. We are using that person to shrink ourselves and thus make ourselves smaller than we are.
We must realize our equality among the people we place above us on the totem pole. The CEO, famous actor, professional athlete or politician is no better or worse than you. They are people fulfilling the experience they set out for themselves in the same way you are fulfilling yours. It does not serve you to give your power away to them, nor to view them as being of some quality separate from yourself. You have an equal but different expression of self that could reflect its potency in a similar but different way, i.e. equally as powerful.
Be aware of habits you have in judging people and their circumstances -- ranking them within an imaginary hierarchy. A totem pole reflects our self-worth in relation to the perceived value of others, our habit of automatically placing each person above or below us.
We are choosing a limited perspective of the world by creating false constructs that do not exist. It’s a belief that served us when we lived in 100-person tribes and depended on social structure to survive. It allowed us to establish leaders who knew the best direction for our community. But once you can see this exists, you are able to transcend it and break free of its limitations.
This mechanism has been hijacked by cheap entertainment, athleticism, celebrity culture and the Mean Girls’ Movie. Society allows you to feel less important than the professional athlete, guru, actor, famous singer or Instagram all-star. By looking up to others as more valuable than ourselves, we place ourselves lower on the metaphorical totem pole. Each place on the totem pole comes with a corresponding set of behaviors our minds will allow us access.
Know yourself to be at the same level as those you idolize. You will give yourself access to your version of the same levels of experience. Those you currently idolize will become friends and equals along your journey. Transcend the conditions in which you judge others to have value, and you will overcome those conditions being placed on you.
Anytime we judge others as having more value than we have, we are giving our power away. We are placing ourselves lower on the totem pole and limiting the behaviors and thinking to which we allow ourselves access. Conversely, anytime we place others below us and consider them inferior, we are reinforcing the existence of the totem pole and reminding us of our place.
Only by cultivating compassion for yourself and others, do you begin to transcend the limitations of the totem pole and gain access to your true self. Each of us is attempting to master our own set of experiences: each with our own level of clarity, challenge, triumphs, difficulties and successes. Our different preferences, backgrounds and desires cultivate the contrast that gives beauty to this experience.
When you compare another person to yourself and judge yourself as being better than that person, you will feel judged by people you would grade under the same criteria. Seeing everyone else as equal brings freedom. Not judging others allows us to create whatever experience we desire free of judgment from others. You free yourself from caring about the judgments of others.
Your interpretation of another's actions bends through the lens of yourself. The characteristics you project onto them are a version of your characteristics. You cannot see qualities in another that you do not have in yourself. When you judge another person, it does not reflect a quality in them so much as it serves to highlight that quality within you. It is not a judgment of their character, it is a reflection of the judgments you carry about yourself.
Try not judging others to see how much love you gain for yourself. Love people right where they are, without any insistence that they please you. This opens up a wide variety of behaviors which you are holding from yourself.
Follow Your Highest Self
A big golden skeleton key to confidence is being able to hold your focus in directions that serve you. Humans are torn in a million different directions every day. If you don’t have a strong grasp on what your values are and what you stand for, you are going to end up standing for someone or something else. The person who is confident in their life choices will be a leader.
Manliness is knowing the direction you are heading in, and relentlessly marching forward without letting the storm outside knock you off course. Your highest self is the compass that is continually providing you with feedback to stay on course.
It steers you with subtle emotions. When you feel clarity, excitement, joy and enthusiasm, you are in alignment with your course. Confusion, fear, worry, and boredom let you know you are heading in the wrong direction. That is, what you’re thinking isn’t in alignment with how your highest self views the situation.
Often we oscillate in a wave pattern between our highest and lowest self. This becomes our frequency. If we vibrate at a high frequency, we tend to have higher highs and higher lows. If we vibrate at a lower frequency, we have lower highs and lower lows. Our frequency determines the people and events we find in our circumstances.
Our highest self makes better decisions, has a broader perspective and deeper insight. Your higher self sees the whole picture. Your conscious mind is aware of only a tiny fraction of the world around you. Only by tapping into your ‘higher self’ can you act on complete information.
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